7 Things Cabin Crew Hates Most About The Job

*Note: Please do not confuse with The Different Kinds of Passengers Cabin Crew Hates Most - which I may write in the near future...This post refers to people in general, friends/relatives/strangers/passengers/RonaldMcDonalds...

1) People taking photos of us without our permission.

What I hate most when I was flying was that people would just go snapping photos of us in our uniform, without the basic courtesy of asking us for permission to do so. (I'm not talking about taking a photo of Starbucks and we happen to be in it kind of picture here.)

We may look like a walking exhibition and indeed when we don our uniform, especially the signature SQ Kebaya, we may look Instagram-worthy...but we are not Zoo animals (even at the Zoo you pay admission fee to go in, gawk and take photos of the animals, and NO, the air ticket you purchased isn't bundled with unlimited photography of the cabin crew). 

Point is, I'm very sure that if you actually have the courtesy to request for us to be in your photo, we will most definitely oblige with a big smile - albeit fake. 

Mainly cos nobody wants to get caught (especially in our uniform) with weird non-camera-ready faces like this:

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And if any of us happen to be in our less glamorous self, PLEASE BE NICE, at least censor the face.

(I'm not censoring this face cos this photo has already been circulated online since 2009. Poor girl!)

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We will love it if you will just censor all our photos like this, however mundane.

2) People taking photos of us when we are working, i.e. in the midst of a meal service.

Cos we will most likely look like this:

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And even if you do ask us for our permission...

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We have only 8 legs and a face, there isn't a free one to entertain your photography request ya?

3) People ask us the million dollar question - where do we fly to.

And when I reply "Oh all around the world, you know, wherever SQ flies to...we would get to fly to!" and they go "SQ got fly where ah?" Hello, SQ flies to 65 international destinations in 35 countries (as of December 2013), you really want me to go through the list with you?? 

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4) People assume and envy that we have a lot of time when we layover at each country.

Now let me list you the few stations that SQ flies to (before I quit) that we actually have more than 72 hours (3 days) from the point of landing to the point of departure:

1) Moscow/Houston - certain patterns give us a long stay in Moscow but a short stay in Houston, while certain pattern gives us a short stay in Moscow but a short stay in Houston. There are a variations of pattern for this flight, sometimes, 1 and half day Moscow, 3 days Houston, then back to Moscow for 1 day.

2) Barcelona/SaoPaulo - well this is a pattern I have never done before cos I opted myself out of the route as crew are required to take the Yellow Fever jab to go on this route. But it is something like Moscow/Houston pattern, I think.

3) 8 days Rome - very rare flight to get roster-ed, I was only roster-ed once in my entire 6 years flying and I had something important that week and had to change the flight away.

4) Milan/Barcelona - Barcelona is a shuttle flight in this pattern, so we don't get to alight in Barcelona, thus making Milan a more than 72 hours layover in the summer.

Hm. I think that's about it - unless there are new patterns that came up that I don't know of (or I may actually be wrong about the above since I have quit flying for a year...some things are getting fuzzy now). The rest of the stations... let's put it this way, if it's more than 10 hours flight time, then our layover there will be around 48 hours (usually not more than 48 hours) from point of landing to departure; and for flights with less than 10 hours flight time it varies between 15 hours to barely hitting 24-26 hours most of the time.

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And yeah maybe you think 24 hours is a lot of time, please consider that most passengers take their smelly ass own sweet time to disembark most of the time and by the time we clear customs, get on the bus and travel to the hotel, we're usually 2 hours short. And then personally, unpacking and showering takes up a lot of my time cos I usually have to shampoo 2-3 times to remove all the hairspray from my hair ARGH. And then it's time to hit the sack...cos you know it's so much hard work just walking around in the plane to look pretty. By the time I wake up I have barely 5-6 hours (sometimes 3-4 hours, depending on how many whales were on board, ordering all that cocktail non stop like happy hour - I'm talking about YOU AUSTRALIANS!) before check out.

SO yeah, envy much still?

5) The amount of hairspray, lipstick, nail polish we have to use.

SQ is very strict with cabin crew's grooming. We even have a color chart that we have to conform to. Hm, maybe I should say most airlines are, cos after all we are wearing the uniform of a job which is highly stereotyped as 'you not pretty cannot be stewardess' right?

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But when you see all those advertisement of SQ girls with their hair down and flying around like this, it's a April Fool's Joke.

None of us are allowed to have our hair down like that if the hair is touching our shoulders. And for the ones with short and untied hair, they have to make sure that the hair doesn't get blown around when there is wind or doesn't fall to our cheeks when they bend over. For the ones who bun/french twist/plaid their hair, they have to make sure that the bun/twist/plaid wouldn't come loose in the mid of the flight or have baby hair sticking around, etc. SO how do we make sure of that? We spray our hair with loads of hairspray until it's like wearing a helmet on our heads.

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Same goes to our make up, we have to have the very same look when we first welcome you on board till the moment we bid you goodbye, which means our lipstick needs to be touched up almost every time we eat/drink.

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And by the way, if you didn't already know, blue eye shadow (or brown for the warm tones ladies - like me) and cherry red lipstick have been the colors of SQ girls for a bloody long time. 

And they recently -finally- changed the palette colors, when the cherry red lipstick is starting to be in again. Duh.

I don't think other airlines are as strict as this? I don't know, I may be wrong. But sometimes we will have an irritating senior crew coming to me and point to the grooming guidelines and say, "Hey how come your fake eyelashes look longer than 1 cm? Your red lipstick also not the approve red on the color chart! You have 2 strands of baby hair near your side burn you need to spray more hair spray. Or I can write you in."

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6) Seniority isn't like how it used to be anymore.

So when I first joined, the culture is all about seniority. If my senior colleague have not had their meal, I shall not have unless I'm dying of gastritis. If there's only 1 beef meal left, I shall not touch it in case my senior colleague wants to have it. If I'm the most junior on the flight, I shall volunteer to call everyone on the flight to arrange for a meal together. If my senior colleague says the coffee has to be served on plastic cup, I will not argue that the black and white says that coffee has to be served on a mug. If my senior crew wants me to clear the entire cabin myself, I will do it without him/her even asking me to.

But 6 years later when I got senior in my rank, everyone start getting scared of the junior crew. Cos the junior crew are very vocal now.

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They are not afraid to rant - rant on blog, rant on Facebook, rant to other crew, rant to management...got a lot of people into trouble.

So I basically went through all that shit for that 6 years for nothing.

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7) People like to say you complain so much about being a cabin crew then don't fly la!

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Oh so you love you job so much you don't complain and whine about anything? 

Why don't you quit your job then?

We all work because we need money, because we have a house to pay for, because we have a family to feed; we don't work cos we bloody love it.

Every job has its ups and its downs, we may stay for the ups but that doesn't mean we can't whine about the downs.

If you are so zen and don't whine about shit, you wouldn't even be bothered with my whining. So why don't you go live in the Himalayan mountains and be by yourself.

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Lastly, my disclaimer: I'm no longer a crew, thus no longer am I upholding the image of Singapore Airlines. I'm a blogger and sometimes there's a need to exaggerate so please don't take my word as it is. In other words, don't sue me OK!

What Do Couples Quarrel About?

Hello guys, I know some of you have written to me that you love my previous post about cabin crew and that you wish to see more of such posts. Thing about talking about crew life is that it can get a little bit tricky (with the airline I was with) and thus a lot of thought needs to go into it when I write posts about crew/airline. I will definitely have more posts on crew life (seeing that that post alone actually raised a readership of almost 5k within a week and had strangers adding me on facebook - wow!), but today I'm going to write about relationship - again... :)

I saw this on facebook the other day... (sorry friend, your facebook posts are just too brilliant!)

So what do couples usually quarrel about?

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For my husband and I, the list is as follows:

1) When we talk about Singapore's politics - sure quarrel, like an atomic bomb dropped between us. I guess most of my friends know I'm "riding with the lightning" (I have friends who "don't friend me" anymore over it too *roll eyes*).. oh wells.

2) When I laugh at his super funny mistakes, like this once he told me to call Helping Hand while he was driving...

Me "Dear I can't find Helping Hand's number on your phone!"

Louis "Try searching 'hand' la"

And then I LOL and showed him what he saved Helping Hand as in his contacts...

He got dulan and said "I cannot hear properly la!"

And then of course I continue to LOL cos what has hearing got to do with saving his contacts wrongly right... 

3) When I ask him to do something but he is lazy to...especially cooking for me, cos this is what I think (most girls would too I'm sure)...

But in reality...

Look at his LJ face cos I made him cook me soup for causing me to miss dinner!

*Slap u then u know ah laulan!*

(Everyone knows this is his signature face which is also damn hilarious.)

4) His bad temper and stubbornness...here's a proof that he does have a bad temper and is stubborn cos he admitted to his shortcomings in Jan 2012!

<<  IMAGE DELETED COS SOMEONE OBJECTED -.- >>

Of cos he doesn't admit to his wrongs anymore, the most is "Sorry lor?"... :(

5) Housework - or the sudden realization of the lack of it.

"Eh why the house like that ah, what did you do?!"

"What me, why you never ask why you never do??"

"Eh I got do ok, every time I do one but last week I was super busy you knew what! You cannot help out meh?"

6) When we make big plans but it didn't happen for some reason...

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"You see lah wake up so late, missed it again!"

"You were the one who told me to snooze the alarm ok!"

"Who ask you last night insist on watching Walking dead until 3am?!"

7) The choices we have to make...

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"We should go left! I remember the last time we turned this way!"

"But the instructions the concierge gave was to turn right!"

"You wanna bet?"

"The concierge google for it; he can't be wrong!"

"YOU WANNA BET??"

(OH! My hubby is a very big fan on the question "You wanna bet?" I actually won $50 for winning a bet on an argument on who's right or wrong about our friend's car.)

8) And sometimes it got to a point where...

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And I swear I would start to snicker, which makes my hubby even more mad.

So what are the other reasons couples quarrel about?? I saw these polls while googling for photos...

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I would say arguing about what to eat while on a date is probably a more Singaporean (or Asian) thing..? Cos I don't see it pop up in any of the polls. Personally I never have issues with where or what to eat in any of my relationships, perhaps cos I'm such a foodie. :p

But why do couples have to quarrel?? We watch all that Korean dramas where the couples "love until want to die" (direct translation from Chinese ai4 de2 si2 qu4 huo2 lai2) or went through tremendous amount of hardships to finally be together...and we cry 2 boxes of tissue when the couple finally got together but the girl has got cancer or is blind or something dramatic...

Do you think they squabble about the toilet seat cover after that?

"I've finally found you! Let's never part again!"

"I love you too...but...*sob* can you remember to put the toilet seat cover down after you use?"

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Evil slut in the plot "Come and be with me, I don't mind sitting on the toilet bowl with no cover, I don't mind licking it too."

If couples say they love each other till the end of time and wedded because they cannot be without each other, then why still squabble over stupid things??

This quote is complete bullshit IMO.

So think about it, I'm sure nobody likes quarreling with their partners. If one party were to give in to the other then the squabble would have been avoided. But if no party is willing to take the step back and let go of nitty-gritty things like who is going to do the dishes (or be on top) tonight, then I guess there will bound to be squabble everyday because both parties are so used to quarreling that they don't see the importance of harmony in the relationship anymore.

I used to not know when to give in too, like if I want my hubby to quit smoking he'd have to quit immediately. I didn't see that placing my hubby's health before the health of our marriage can also be a problem. But recently I have found myself very zen about a lot of things, like (For Example only) if my hubby is feeling too lazy to give me a lift to my mom's place even though he's free, I would say "oh nevermind lor, I take train." Or when he had a bad day at work and stomped into the house wanting to vent his frustrations, and say "eh why you fry chicken wings later I sore throat!", I would say "oh then you want minced pork instead, I go steam now?"

And I realized that when I do this, my hubby also tone down his temper a lot. Maybe it makes him think, "eh why she today siao one, never argue back..", or maybe it makes him feel a tad bit guilty and also want to be nicer in the relationship.

In any way, I think most people get into relationship/marriage with the mindset that it would be everlasting and they would grow old together, loving each other till death do them part.

So I hope you guys will think about it and maybe ask yourself if it's really necessary to insist on buying that $3000 sound system that your wife isn't too happy about or make your boyfriend who stays in Jurong go buy Punggol Nasi Lemak for you at 1am when you know he's bound to show up with a black face later.

And I hope my marriage will live see to this day when we are in our 60s! :)

Top 5 Misconceptions About Cabin Crew

Sorry I have not been blogging much ( I know, not like I have been missed right), cos I have been real busy with my husband...his Hand Foot Mouth disease is finally gone, and he's just recuperating at home now cos his company says his peeling hands are not fit for work yet.

So that day I went to meet up with Jac to spend some sister-loving time with her over dinner, and also to get away from home for a bit. We decided to have dinner at Sushi Tei (actually it was Jac's decision, she was craving for their Salmon salad, I would never have gone for Sushi Tei otherwise) but then we met her friends outside Sushi Tei and Jac decided to ask them to join us for dinner.

The thing is. I wasn't in a sociable mood, I was badly dressed and I had no make up on...which are all fine. But when one of them went "oh you were a cabin crew?!" which I sensed that there was some kind of shock involved. I couldn't help squirming in my seat hoping that I could MeiTuXiuXiu my dark eye circles, my round pale face and my messy hair.

So here's my list of Top 5 Misconceptions About Cabin Crew:

1) Cabin crew out of uniform and make up also chio (pretty) one lah
I think most people's image of a cabin crew out of uniform is probably like this:

http://vanessajackman.blogspot.sg/2013_06_01_archive.html

 Fashionable, natural beauty...

Or have the bloody same poise and everything in and out of uniform...

 Some people may even imagine cabin crew out of uniform like this...

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UH-UH.
Truth is, most of us are like this...

http://www.ohgizmo.com/2013/04/09/this-is-what-barbie-looks-like-without-makeup/

You know, normal people with no make up.

Of course there are many natural beauty ones, I won't say no. But me, I need make up.

On a good day, I can look like this without make up (and a little filtering haha).

But mostly I have bad days and I look like this without make up.

And I hate it cos my eyes are so boring and my skin isn't perfect and I have got wrinkles on my forehead and dark eye circles!

And even these photos were taken more than a year ago when my face hasn't gone chubby.

If you are not convinced yet, take look at celebrities caught without make up:

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And then some Chinese girls with and without make up:

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Uh huh...pretty much the same with cabin crew! And we can be dressed sloppily too, like big baggy tees with baggy home shorts, hair clipped up messily...

2) All cabin crew are super sociable, outgoing, friendly and they owe you a conversation.

No, no, no and NO!

First of all, if I could dress and meet my passengers on my flights like this:

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I would.

Most of the days, I don't really feel like smiling or saying hi nor am I actually sorry when I say I am, BUT I was paid to. (Hell sometimes I don't even feel like brushing my teeth so that I can scare you with my bad breath!)

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I mean, I'm friendly, but you know, just not outgoing nor super sociable.

I am not very interested in meeting new people and engaging in small talks, but I can be friendly and nice enough to not snap at you for acting bimbo/lecherous.

I will usually shut up or look another direction if you are either.

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And sometimes it is not that we are stuck up or that we only talk to rich guys or you know whatever you think we are when we just aren't friendly with you. We are just tired, jetlagged, sick of smiling, sick of being nice...or simply just feel like being a bitch, you know we are entitled to those days.

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3) We have a lot of time when we are outstation and we love to help you buy that special chocolate that is actually available at Candy Empire so that you can save $3.

So IMO, this is the biggest battle cabin crew has.

Sometimes we really don't mind doing you a favor, cos you know your friendship means something to us, and we don't want to resort to having to hide the countries we are going to from you or changing the privacy of our travel photos on Facebook.

But please don't take it for granted.

We hate it when people treat our house as some storage unit or our wallet as your bank loan.

If we agree to help you buy something, make an effort to come and pick it from our place or a place of OUR convenience. AND always offer to pay beforehand - say your bag costs around $200, pass us $200 before we depart for the trip so that we are sure you won't play us out after we got back with your purchase! (YES THERE ARE PEOPLE LIKE THAT!!)

And if we didn't manage to get tax refund or maybe even any item on your shopping list, it isn't our fault.

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Sometimes we just didn't have time to! (Or our hotel location is just too out of the way.)

Or you know, simply buy it online or in Singapore if it is available. Cos the money you do save from asking us to buy your stuff is actually spent on transport fare when we go and buy your stuff - out of our own pockets.

4) All cabin crew sleeps around and are in the high mile club.

All I have to say to that is this:

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5) We sincerely think your children are cute and we love to have them on board.

Let me get this straight. I like children, but not on my job. Especially not the ones who...

They don't just cry during take-off. They cry during lull period, when we have finally finished serving lunch, cleared the cabin, checked the toilets, turned off the lights and are preparing to take our meal/rest while the passengers are falling asleep, your child(ren) have to wail at the top of his/her voice and wake the rest of the passengers. Thank you very much, now the call lights will be beeping non-stop cos everyone just woke up and wants a drink/sandwich/cup-noodles.

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And for goodness sake, the aircraft, especially the toilet is very dirty, don't let your toddler walk around bare footed or even crawl on all fours. EWWWW.

Lastly, please try to wash your own milk bottles. Thanks.

(I sometimes gag at the smell of the milk while washing passenger's baby milk bottles while the daddy is too busy watching a movie.)

So that's all I have for Top 5 Misconceptions About Cabin Crew. I shall end it with this:

The moment I am truly sincere with my smiles is when I greet goodbye to passengers(: